


the fateful animal you call your body

by Punxutawney



Category: American Actor RPF, Fifty Shades of Grey - All Media Types, Fifty Shades of Grey RPF
Genre: Acting, Awkward Boners, Awkward Sex, Casual Sex, F/M, Mild Femdom, Not-Friends to Lovers, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-22 00:32:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9573947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punxutawney/pseuds/Punxutawney
Summary: So, the previous shoot was a bit of a pain in the ass, but this time, she’s being totally cool about it. Maybe he doesn’t want to be here, but she can still treat him like he’s a friend, even if it’s not reciprocated. Although he’s the one on a diet, so no chocolate cake for him, sorry.





	

It’s raining in Vancouver. Again.

Dakota is still about 75 % happy with her job. What’s not to love about being a movie star and getting paid for hanging out with some awesome people all day? Seriously, her makeup and hair people are great, and the grip gives her half of his chocolate cake (for some reason, the lighting guys get extra dessert from craft services. It must be a racket of some sort).

The rest 25 % pretty much suck because of a) the rain and b) her sour-faced killjoy of a co-star.

Like. Would it kill him to make small talk with her outside of scenes? Lord knows she’s tried to engage him in conversation for the past couple of years now. She’s been really giving it her best shot.

It’s possible it’s the material. It was clear from day one that Mr Dornan is Not Into It. She’s not entirely sure why he’s here, then, but it has to be the money, and the recognition, probably. Though if you have trouble being recognized for your role in borderline softcore porn, why you’ve gone for the role in the first place is a bit of a mystery.

Not that Dakota is the biggest fan of the genre, but at least she Gets It. She thinks. It’s, what is it called again, “mommy porn”? And that’s okay. Maybe she’s just not that into it because she’s not a mother and doesn’t really want to be. At least not yet.

(She has to admit her ovaries did weird flips whenever Sam’s baby daddy would drop by the set with their flock of little girls in tow. But she’s pretty sure that doesn’t count. It was like watching a video of baby ducks running around. Of course it was cute.)

So, the previous shoot was a bit of a pain in the ass, but this time, she’s being totally cool about it. Maybe he doesn’t want to be here, but she can still treat him like he’s a friend, even if it’s not reciprocated. Although he’s the one on a diet, so no chocolate cake for him, sorry.

Dornan doesn’t exactly seem to like her any more than last year but at least he tolerates her now. He barely bats an eye when she quotes _Intermission_ at him. (She’s particularly fond of “There's a stench of adultery in here!”) It could be her accent is getting better.

He doesn’t even really mind when she sits down to eat her cheeseburger next to him where he’s dutifully slurping down his green smoothie and poking at his mound of fat-free chicken.

“That looks gross. Want a fry?” she says (although it comes out more like “Thaff louh grouh wanna fruh?”).

“No. And don’t talk with you mouth full, Johnson.”

She swallows and licks the sauce from her fingers seductively.

“I bet you say that to all the ladies. And your bad. These things are fucking orgasmic.”

Dornan gives her the long-suffering “you’re a weirdo and I hate being here with you and making this movie but I’ll endure it like only a man getting a paycheck can” look he’s truly perfected over the last few weeks, but he doesn’t leave. 

Dakota pops another fry into her mouth and is kind enough to talk about about the upcoming scene instead of her awesome cheeseburger.

Rehearsing one-on-one is definitely the least fun part of the shoot. When they’re actually shooting, at least there are a lot of nice people around who want to talk to Dakota. When they’re alone together, it’s hard to escape the fact that Dornan really, really doesn’t want to be pally with her.

At least they’re prepping for a scene where Christian basically threatens Ana and pins her to the bed. Maybe Dornan can channel all his emotions into it.

They’re at her place, because yep, it sure is raining and she didn’t want to make any extra trips outside. His apartment isn’t that far away, anyway, so she texted him to come over. His hair’s all curly and damp and she gives him a towel, which he seems to take reluctantly. Looks like it’s going to be extra hard to take him seriously as Christian Grey, Imposing Sexual Deviant today.

“Uh, let’s just do this in the bedroom, okay? There’s not much space anywhere else.”

She waves her hands around at her hallway-cum-kitchen-cum-living room area, which is mostly taken up by fluffy furniture and her piles of books and movies.

The bedroom isn’t that big either, so they can’t do the choreography where Christian strides towards Ana from across the room, but they can at least go over the lines until they’ve got the beats right. For all his reluctance, at least he’s willing to work with her so they need as few takes on set as possible.

“What are you doing here?”

It’s easy to slip into Ana-mode, flatten out her voice and put a little bit of fear in there. Voicework is fun, and luckily usually the biggest part of a character.

“I should be asking you the questions,” Dornan/Christian asks her sternly. His lilting accent takes a bit of damping down, still. Sometimes he can’t keep the funny upward inflection out, especially during the more intimate scenes. Maybe it takes him all his concentration not to puke on her. (Now that would be entertainment.)

“I told you to stay away from her!” he continues. She silently cheers for his passable PNW tone and takes a step back towards the bed. The hard part, honestly, is making falling on the bed look sexy.

It’s not like Dornan’s got the bed-tumble down either. After a few lines, they end up in a heap of elbows and knees sticking painfully in the wrong places. He valiantly goes for the next line, but it’s a total mess and he accidentally bumps his chin into her nose.

Dakota yelps and then starts laughing like crazy.

Dornan clambers off of her, hitting her once more in the side with his elbow, and stands up looking both sheepish and pissed off.

“Oh come on,” she says, wiping tears from her eyes. “That was the most fun we’ve had together.”

He just hmms and crosses his arms. Dakota straightens her skirt and sits on the edge of the bed.

“Not to step on your toes here, Dornan, but you need to be more assertive. Guide me. We can’t do it unless we fall together. It’s not gonna turn anyone on.”

He looks mildly receptive to her words of wisdom, so she continues.

“You could like, grab my shoulders a bit more. Go for it, it’s not like you haven’t bruised me before.”

“Okay, but isn’t Ana supposed to keep her distance here? She’s not willing to stay under him anymore, as it were, right?”

And here she thought he’d never spend any time considering her character motivations.

“Sure, but it doesn’t have to mean he doesn’t still physically try to hold her down. We can talk with Jim, figure out how to show her, um, independence some other way?”

Wow, it’s almost like they’re workshopping this scene. Who’d have thought.

“You just,” Dakota’s not sure how to verbalize how she sees the scene. That’s what directors are for, anyway. “I dunno, you need to do it a bit slower, too. Like… Ugh, can I just show you?”

He raises an eyebrow.

“You think you can do it better, then?”

“Wanna bet? I’ll show you.”

Dakota is only half-bluffing. She’s always ready to rise to the occasion.

“Oh yeah? Go ahead then. Let’s swap.”

Dornan sits down on the bed and Dakota stands up. She didn’t actually think he’d want to play around like this, what with his minimum effort thing going on and all.

They take their places. Dakota concentrates on her breathing for a while before she thinks she’s got it.

“I told you to stay away from her.”

She doesn’t shout the line but says it extra slow and deep instead. She stares at him intently and he looks admirably uncomfortable under her scrutiny. If only she could look at guys like that in movies more often.

When she takes a step closer and grabs his arm by the elbow, he flinches a little and does the lip-bite thing. It would look like parody if it wasn’t actually a little bit hot. Dakota pushes him down slowly but forcefully so he has to look up at her.

“You’ll stay away from her. Period. And you’ll get on the plane with me tonight.”

“Y-you can’t tell me what to do, Christian,” he breathes out. Is that hot? Why does her body suddenly think that’s hot?

“You can’t tell me what to want,” he says with a bit of a quiver and a moan. Yeah, okay, that’s hot.

Well, maybe it’s just that it’s pretty exciting to push him around, Dakota thinks, as he makes Dornan/Ana lie down on the bed. His eyes glint with something like actual fear and anticipation, which, A+, top notch acting.

Dakota crawls over his body slowly until she’s covered almost all of him. It’s probably not that intimidating but she stares straight into his eyes and waits a little longer than is comfortable before speaking.

“You have no idea what you want, Ana,” she says somberly. The flat voice is seriously not hard to get down. She glances at his mouth, sort of calculating and derisive like Christian would. “But I do.”

She bends down, almost touching her lips to his. He swallows, not breaking the eye contact. There’s a line in the script he should be saying, but he seems distracted by the fact that Dakota has grabbed his wrist, his breath picking up.

More than distracted, actually, she suddenly realizes, as she shifts her hips and something hard digs into her belly. The sensation automatically has her groin flare up in full-on arousal, because of course it does. She loves a good erection, especially near her crotch.

Dornan seems to experience a similar feedback loop because he breaks the scene, ungracefully, by pushing her away and crawling back so he can sit up. He desperately grabs the script they’ve left lying on the bed and covers his crotch. Dakota bursts into giggles, because come on.

“Oh my god, you totally have a boner right now. I knew it.”

She can’t help but be gleeful. And a bit relieved that she’s not the only one affected by this accidentally totally hot thing that just happened. She needs to, like, think about this afterwards and do this again with a dude she actually likes or at least wants to bone. Mr Repression here isn’t exactly her type.

“So?” Dornan sounds somewhat pained. “It’s not a big deal, you were rubbing against me, it’s a completely normal physical reaction.”

“Uh-huh. Admit it, you were into it.”

Dornan looks actually a bit ashamed now. Dakota feels a little bad.

“That’s beside the point.”

“Then what’s the point?” she counteracts reflexively.

“The point, Johnson, is that I have a really uncomfortable erection right now, something you wouldn’t know what it feels like, and you’re still being an insufferable arsehole about it and flaunting your fucking cool as ice vagina. Or something.”

Dornan’s a little out of breath. Dakota doesn’t know how to counter that, which, crucially, gives away her game. He opens his mouth again before she can speak.

“Except. Really?” God, he sounds way too happy. “You’re turned on too. Jesus Christ.”

Dakota blushes but she knows it’s a good look on her. Dornan doesn’t look grossed out by her, anyway, just sort of dazed. She’s okay with him seeing her real sexface.

“Yeah, so what? No biggie, like you said. We’re adults, stuff happens. Even if it’s slightly weird pretend S&M roleplay stuff. Or maybe especially.”

Now that they’ve established they both have a problem, she figures they should look for a solution.

“Um, do you wanna… take care of it? You can use the bathroom, I don’t mind.”

Not the right solution, apparently.

“No, I’m not going to have a wank in your loo.”

Dakota giggles but only a little because she’s totally mature in the face of British lingo.

“Okay, then, do you seriously want to get out of here and get in your car and drive all the way home and then jerk off in privacy? Because that? Sounds hella uncomfortable. Even to me.”

She’s not going to tell him that yeah, even without a dick it’s pretty damn uncomfortable being turned on and not being able to take care of it. Especially when you’re still in close quarters with the person who gave you the boner in the first place. She just needs him to blow his load, get out and leave her alone to deal with it.

If she’s honest, she’d be totally okay right now introducing her uncomfortable vag to his uncomfortable dick if it meant getting off ASAP.

Wait.

“Uh, hate to be the one to state the obvious again but, you know. We could always.” Dakota gestures vaguely at her crotch and then his and waggles her eyebrows meaningfully.

“What.”

Dornan looks set on not picking up anything, again. Dakota sigh theatrically, because of course he’s going to make this just as difficult as all the other parts of their working relationship.

“Have sex. Boink. Bump uglies. Do the dirty. Shag, or whatever you call it over there. Fuck. Like responsible adults. No one needs to be tied up.”

Dornan’s glare intensifies and he looks like he’s about to storm out of the apartment after all, but then he grits something out. She can’t make out whether it’s a word or a genuine sound of pain.

“Come again?” she asks magnanimously, because she’s polite like that.

“Yeah, okay. Whatever.”

That isn’t exactly the kind of enthusiasm a girl looks for, but she takes her victories where she can.

“Okay, sourpuss, let’s do this.”

Dakota reaches over to grab the script he’s still holding like a fig leaf over his chastity. He flinches back and puts the script on the table.

“You can stop with the domme act,” he says a little stiffly. “Ask me first.”

“Okay,” Dakota huffs, though she wouldn’t mind continuing what they had going on. This is weird enough as it is. “Do you wanna get naked?”

She could swear he almost smiles at that but he hides it quickly and starts taking his clothes off.

“Yeah, that’s what people usually do,” he mumbles through his sweater. It gets a bit stuck so Dakota decides to help him and scoots closer on the bed. With the sweater gone, they’re suddenly face to face. He hasn’t shaved this morning, as it’s not a shooting day. His hands hover somewhere near her breasts.

“Do you mind?” he asks.

“Go ahead.”

He unbuttons her blouse slowly, not at all sexy and seductive but a little hesitant and clearly wanting to prolong the inevitable. Her breath still picks up and she knows she’s blushing further. There’s something a little cute about his awkwardness. She’s not above admitting it. It’s one of the reasons she likes yanking his chain.

With some more tugging and fumbling they get their shirts and Dakota’s bra off. His fingertips brush the sides of her breasts and yeah, if it gives her goosebumps, so what. Her breasts get sensitive when she’s horny. Maybe that’s why it’s never felt this nice before to have him touching her nipples.

“Um, your pants, can I...?” She’s really trying with this asking thing and waits for him to grunt a yes before reaching for his fly. She pulls down the zip and feels around for his dick. She’s basically touched his penis before on set because it’s really difficult to avoid that on this project, but it’s been more like modest crotch-on-crotch action where they’re both wearing granny panties. And he’s never been hard.

“That’s, ah, kinda chafing,” he tells her.

“Oh! Sorry.”

She is genuinely apologetic, because she generally respects other people’s genitals, and lets him pull away to get off his jeans and boxers and socks, in that order. She’s still wearing her skirt and leggings, and she starts wriggling out of them. Of course her panties get stuck to the leggings, which is useful in the bathroom but not really a sexy move, but she bravely pulls them both off at once, leaving her in her skirt only.

“Could you unzip this for me? It gets stuck sometimes, I’m always struggling with it.”

She turns her back to him and giggles a little when he brushes at his sides. She’s not usually that ticklish, which is a great asset for her role as Ana because she’s constantly being prodded on set and can still maintain her cool professional face, but yep, actual sexytimes do that to her. He slides down the zip and then lets his hand slip a little in between her hip and the loosening fabric.

“Are we seriously doing this, Johnson?”

“That’s a little late to ask when when your hand’s halfway to my vulva. But yeah. We’re so doing this.”

She slides the skirt off and turns around. She needs some serious clit action about yesterday.

“Just for efficiency, who gets off first? I mean, I’m not gonna try to have a magical mutual orgasm moment here,” she says a little breathlessly. “You can seriously go first, I don’t mind. Except if you get really tired afterwards.”

“I don’t. But let’s do you first,” he says generously, and it’s pretty weird but actually kind of hot to be naked alone without a crew. He runs a palm down her side and then on her thigh. Her knees are starting to hurt in this position and she just wants to lie down, so she does that and pulls him with her so he’s on top and his boner pokes at her pubic hair.

“What do you like?” he asks. This is shaping up to be the nicest conversation they’ve ever had.

“Uh, I hope you like going down on girls. Because that.”

He smiles, for real, now. Dakota’s sure she’s never seen that before.

“Yeah, I do.” He crawls down.

“Great. I figured, um,” she loses the train of thought for a while as she has to draw her knees up and let him settle down better. Which with that boner and all is pretty chivalrous.

“I thought after I’ve come, you can just fuck me. If you wanna. I can also blow –” she makes a totally grown-woman noise that doesn’t sound like an excited seal at all.

“Okay, sure, I’ll think about it later,“ she concedes and closes her eyes.

He’s not bad at this, she has to give him that. He laps between her folds and she’s pretty sure she’s gushing down his chin. He’s pretty focused on fucking her with his tongue, though, and she acutely needs some pressure on her ladyboner.

“Could you, um, my clit please?” He makes a sort of _mh-huh_ sound into her pussy and licks further up. “Yes! Thank you.”

She’s been clutching the bedsheets so far and isn’t really sure what’s the oral sex hand placement code with a co-star you’re not friends with, but when he sucks her clit between his lips she can’t stop herself from grabbing his head.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, letting go. She doesn’t like being grabbed during a BJ either.

“That’s okay,” he says as he takes a little break. His mouth is shiny and he licks his lips. “Don’t pull my hair off but go ahead.”

She’s really starting to like him. Maybe. She lets her fingers tangle in his hair and fucks his soft wet mouth with her clit. He presses his tongue flat against her and does this little circle thing which is awesome and she can feel her pussy clenching up already.

“Get some fingers in there,” she orders between gasps and he complies, slipping two fingers into her and curling them up. Okay, she’s definitely starting to like him.

She thrusts down onto his fingers and into his mouth and then she’s coming, thigh muscles tensing up. She might be pulling his hair off after all, but he doesn’t move back until she’s stopped moaning.

“Oh god,” she says.

He has the audacity to look smug.

“That’s a lot of noise you just made.”

“Ugh.” She feels kind of nonverbal right now, with her legs all orgasm-stupid and pulse still up. “You wanna fuck me, or what?”

He looks like he does, cock standing hard up against his belly. He’s uncut, which is interesting, and Dakota finds herself staring at his boner a little longer than is probably needed.

“Yeah. Do you have –?”

“Condoms? Yeah, in the drawer over there.” She gestures lazily in the general direction. She doesn’t feel the hurry of getting off anymore, so she’s happy to watch him scramble off the bed and dig around in the drawer until he finds the condoms. Then, he’s back hovering over her and trying to tear the packet open. It takes him a few tries and he makes a frustrated noise which makes her laugh.

“Come on, Johnson,” he says with some exasperation as he rolls the condom on. “You’re really not pulling your weight here.”

“You just made me come really hard. Blame yourself.” She opens her legs again and lets him guide his heavy cock closer.

She’s so wet he slides in in one swift motion. He grunts and starts moving, and she can feel herself getting aroused again by the pressure but she lets him concentrate on coming himself. He grabs her hips and guides her into a better angle. When he starts fucking her faster, she wraps her arms loosely around him and mouths at his shoulder, tasting his sweat. She vaguely thinks of leaving a mark but it’ll annoy the makeup tomorrow. Plus, pretty obviously, she doesn’t want anyone to think they’re actually fucking.

“Hey, do you think this counts as rehearsal? We could ask James. I don’t think I can read any more lines after –”

“Please, shut up, Johnson,” Dornan pants into her neck. “For the love of god.”

He grunts again, hips working. She stays silent because she’s nice like that, and tightens her muscles around him.

He’s less vocal than her when he comes, making his grunting little sex noises and holding her hips. She watches his face as he scrunches up his eyes and grinds his teeth together. Then his face goes slack and he slumps pretty unceremoniously on her.

“Ouch.”

Dakota pushes him away, gently. His softening cock leaves her and she realizes she’s actually turned on again, which is slightly disappointing. It feels like this is definitely the end of their sex-having. Maybe she should have demanded two orgasms up front.

Dornan sits up and rolls the condom off carefully. Then he flops back on the bed next to her. She turns to look at him when he speaks.

“Well, I’d say I hope this doesn’t make things weird, but with you, I don’t think it’s even possible.”

“Hey! What do you mean.” She swats at his bicep but it’s half-hearted.

“Seriously?” He looks at her. “You are weird. Pushy. Inappropriate. I thought it was a joke first but you’re always like that. You just punched me.” He sighs. “Is it me? Or are you like that to everyone?”

“Oh my god, I can’t,” she says. “Are we actually having this conversation right now?”

“What conversation?”

“The let’s-get-to-know-each-other-and-become-friends conversation. Which I’ve been trying to start since, I don’t know, when I met you? And I didn’t punch you. Guys punch each other all the time anyway.”

“Wait, you’re actually serious. Is this how you – oh, Jesus.” He stares at her face, looking confused and amused in equal measure. “You are so fucking weird, Johnson.” And then he starts laughing and literally pushes his face into a pillow, shoulders twitching.

Dakota feels a little insulted, but also victorious. This could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Or, in the very least, another round.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've never read the books. I have no idea what's going to happen in _Fifty Shades Darker_. All I know is I like Dakota Johnson's face and everything and I needed to write this fic.
> 
> The title comes from Jodorowsky's _The Holy Mountain_.


End file.
